I remember very clearly the day I first laid eyes on the mythical helm.  I was trudging through a multi-chain quest for fellow party member, Mr. Jones.  He and I were quadmates in college, when he mentioned he had a trove of prized valuables.  His name for it, "The hat bag."  Within this black, ribbon-tied Hefty garbage sack was a collection of dozens of hats, ranging from leather cowboy hats to dingy baseball caps.  Oddly enough, these were no quest rewards.  These were community hats; given out to fellow allies and then returned, like a temporary buff.  My senses told me that there was a cap like no other within the confines of his bag, a Casquette that called out to me, the Duncer destined for me.  I had long out-leveled my current piece of headgear, it's denim tightly packing my hair at the time.  An upgrade was due.

While Mr. Jones was in an unconscious state, possibly poisoned by an incredibly detailed plot to fool him into consuming just under two gallons of cheap Rossi, I picked the lock to his quarters, snuck into his storage hall and searched the sacred hat bag.  Pushing aside scores of seemingly worthless hats, I at last heard the choir of one thousand virgins cantillate the most beautiful of serenades.  I freed the imprisoned hat from it's dusty burial and held it high above my head.  It hovered and rotated slowly as my fanfare roared.  I had found the Cloth Cap of Accordionslaying.

I've been wearing this hat outside of my safe house ever since.  It has been there for every birthday, every Christmas, and every first date.  It has watched the passing countryside as I journey between towns.  It's protected me from a great number of dungeons.  Beyond the regular +5 frost resistance, the Cloth Cap of Accordionslaying gives me increased luck, stamina, and doubles my roll for Accordion damage.  With it, I am practically over-spec.  It's a good hat.

{rokbox title=|Ladies please :: Hands off the headgear|}images/stories/epicmissinghat.jpg{/rokbox}

A good, good hat.  Which is why I'm in a pickle.  My Cloth Cap of Accordionslaying has gone missing.  It has simply left my inventory.  Foul play?  Highly suspect.  It's inevitable that someone, or something, or, perhaps an entire cult, is out to take me down.  The problem is, it doesn't matter how many neighbors I slay, the clues simply don't lead me to my hat.  I'm running out of neighbors.

Until now, I've concealed my weakness, my loss.  Unfortunately, I've reached a time of need.  I humbly resort to asking, "have you seen my hat?"  As far as appearance, it is black, emits a very soft dark blue aurora, and from a distance, appears to be what is known as a Old-Man's hat.  For you Western Canadians out there, I believe you'd call it a Foreskin Cap.  It is also known as a Kepka, in Russia, a Schiebermütze in Germany, or a Mr. T's Jazz cap.  I will make it worth your while.  Whoever returns my Cloth Cap of Accordionslaying will receive 2750 XP, a stack of delicious summer sausage, and a Gnoll-head on a stick.